What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger;

 I don’t know, when and how I came up to it, it seemed to strike a chord within me.  

Evening after evening as I sit in this small balcony, away from the hustle-bustle of the daily mundane life, I try to give myself the much desired space, a place to be “Sauvik” and no one else, a time to arrange and rearrange the pieces of the puzzle called life.

Life is a paradox. What you want you don’t get, what you get, you don’t want.  People say! I trace back to all the instances of my life, trying to find the two ends of the string, trying to connect the dots and find a pattern, but I could never find one. I have always waited for life, to come to me, and fall into place, just like everyone else’s, but it never stayed. It gave me the smell of the rose, and within a blink of the eye, whisked it away from my sight.

 One failure to the next success, I have tried to join them into one single unit, I have tried to merge the line between the earth and the sky, and I have tried to see things, the way not everybody sees. I have tried to live within my strengths, I have tried to sway to the strumming of the guitar and look up to the rains, I have tried to play with time, and live in my pasts.  I have always tried to live in the world of the Pink Floyd, and live in the nights, I tried to stay away from love, but this magical world of wants had always eluded me. It has given me a reason to cry in the rains, it has given me a reason to admire the nights, it has given me my poetry, and it has given me a beautiful person too.

“Yes I have lost out on some things, but I have no regret.”

One moment of wish to the next moment of reality bites, I have tried to trial and error the correct combination of my “dreams come true”. I have always wanted to get a 100 in mathematics when I was in school; I have always wanted to score more than the girl in my class my mom always compared me to. I have always wanted to go to school alone; I have always wanted to ride the bike my brother rode everyday to our house; I have always wanted those extra 5 minutes break between studies; I always wanted to be at least 5”10’. I have always wanted to go away to a vacation, alone, somewhere where no one would find me. I have always wanted that I would never have to go inside the Operation theatre again. I have always tried to stay back into the illusionary world of visions, but it has always given me the slip, the desire was there, but only to be dreamt of, only to be imagined and to be held in my hands, like the distant mirage in the far off desert. They have given me a reason to be more patient, they have taught me how every individual is so unique in nature, it has give me a reason to think how there can be no lesser god, leave alone her children, it has taught me to use your own talents, it has given me a reason to smile amidst pains, it has given me a reason to dream for myself, it has given me a reason to give that dream away, when somebody needs it, it has taught me that the best way to smile, is to bring a smile to someone else face. 

“The forest would have been silent, if no birds sang, except the one that sang best.”

       Yes I have lost out on some things, but I have no regret.

I have always wanted something, which I never got, but what I got, in return, has given me something, which I could never dream of. If never beating that girl in class, can teach you to value every human as equal, if my past can teach me to pen down poems and admire the nights, it’s not that bad isn’t it?

Some lessons we learn in school, while the rest we learn in life.

  One door banged on my face, while another opened, to which I had no clue.  After that it’s all about noticing that open door, and walking through it with a smile in your face, thinking you have the best.

Life is not a puzzle, life is not a paradox; life is not a box of chocolates. Life is a choice! You choose to be alive, you choose to make mistakes; you choose to learn or not to learn from those mistakes, you choose to accept or not accept the reason. It’s not that you have many roads that lead to one destination, but its many roads that lead to many destinations, now it’s your choice which road you take and destiny you choose. You either go on to be a better person, or for the worse, this process of evolution of the self is life, isn’t it?