Sourav always said to me, “what we perceive in others is just a reflection of our own selves. Their vices, their virtues, their wants, desires, their needs, lust has always been a part of our own selves, deep down.” 

I have known to read the page that’s so cold and dead, but I have infused life in it. I have known the dance-steps in life’s music in a cosmic void. The dice was loaded, and I have just let it roll. No, I am no god. It’s just that I have known that I “have” life, and I have known to lend some this universal energy to people I wished. I have been doped with life.  

How did I know all these? I have been born on Saturn’s wings, but I have been god’s last son. I have been forced to know this world – godless, the way it is. I have known not to buy a card on mother’s day. I have been the widowed bridegroom of destiny. At times I feel so insecure being the son-of-god. I have had simple dreams.

Everybody has a guiding star; my star has long been there, since my childhood; stuck up there in the skies. I feel godless when the sun comes up. I desire to be the Sunset in the East…  Everybody has a dream peddler in them, who spins dream after dream, simple, weird, unreasonable, but enough to make one the distinguished.

I have known how much the school blue uniform is worth, I have known each day that passed – its values. But I have known responsibility untimely. I have echoed the words of wisdom into my ears, though I didn’t understand them, because I couldn’t backtrack from what my god left me with. I had learnt restraint; I have learnt that a coin found is not more than a coin earned. I have learnt that happiness isn’t having what you want, but wanting what you have.     

I haven’t made many enemies, nor did I make many friends. I have learnt to listen to the jazz of the rains, I even knew, how the jazz goes down when I come out of the rain. I have learnt to swing from trees in this urban jungle. I have known to get drunk with my favorite buddy, and rue about girls, about broken hearts. I have known to watch the B-grade Mithun Da flicks as well as “Bow Barracks Forever” back-to-back. I have known love at-first-sight and I still consider them to be so damn romantic, even though I hardly believe in them. I have known how it feels to play the second fiddle. But remember, I am the son-of-god. I was born for a reason and the reason is not this. From Mithun to Madonna, from Baul to Bryan Adams, from Asparagus to Aspirin, from Asimov to Bonophool [;-)] I have known a bit of everything that crossed my path.     

I have learned to dissect every stranger’s eyes. I have been learnt what betrayal is. I have known what the pricking of the conscience is. I have given it, I had received it. I have known what sex is, but I had hardly known what love is. I have known to share the treasure-box, be it chocolates, or confessions. I have learnt that head banging is an art be it in despair or in music. The greatest thing that life taught me is the art of pretension.     

My friend says that this bit of blog will remain an ode to our friendship, that’s why he’s writing it in my voice; he has asked me to read this and say if he went wrong anywhere? Me and Sauvik are just so different in our dreams, aspirations, destinations, and how we still are best buddies, is really something I don’t understand or maybe I just don’t want to understand. Maybe that’s what friendship is about, after all everything doesn’t sum down to a “free” beer can. Fucker!!